Dear Ella: I keep thinking about leaving...
Dear Ella,
I’m 55 and a VP. After two restructurings, I have a smaller team and the same targets.
We’re back in the office four days a week, and my mother increasingly needs help.
I’ve raised the increased workload with my boss. He says everyone is stretched and asks me to hang in there.
I used to want his job. Now I spend Sunday evenings wondering how much longer I can do mine.
Leaving would affect my income and retirement plans. Staying is affecting my sleep and my marriage.
How do I decide?
Signed,
Hanging In There
Dear Hanging,
“Hang in there” needs an expiration date.
Your team shrank. Your targets stayed. Your flexibility narrowed. Your responsibilities at home grew. Each change draws on the same finite supply of time and energy.
Start by identifying the conditions under which you would choose to stay. Be specific: fewer priorities, staffing, flexibility, or a different scope.
Then ask your boss:
“For this role to be sustainable, we need to change the workload, resources, or schedule. Which can we change, and by when?”
His response will help you assess what staying would actually look like.
Alongside that conversation, examine the practical terms of leaving: income, benefits, retirement timing, and the kind of paid work you might want next. Give your options enough detail to compare them.
You have already spent considerable effort adapting. Your decision now deserves more than another promise to endure.
Ella
Ella’s note: "Hang in there" is a request. Ask for the plan.
