Dear Ella: How do I stop overfunctioning without letting the work fall apart?
Dear Ella,
I know I overfunction.
I catch problems early, fill gaps, clarify expectations, and make sure the work gets done.
When someone brings me a problem, I usually know the answer. So I give it to them. It’s faster for everyone.
Except now my team waits for my opinion before trusting their own.
I say I want more ownership by my team. Then I step in before anyone has to develop much judgment.
How do I stop doing everyone else’s thinking without letting the work fall apart?
Signed, Holding Too Much
Dear Holding,
Congratulations. You have become your team’s default search engine.
Fast. Accurate. Always available.
The trouble is, every time you provide the answer before someone else has to form one, you strengthen your usefulness and weaken their judgment.
Your overfunctioning is doing too much thinking on everyone else’s behalf.
You diagnose the problem, weigh the options, name the tradeoff, and recommend the move. Then you wonder why they keep coming back.
Because the service is excellent.
This is Influence work.
Influence is not having all the answers. It is helping other people develop better ones.
So when someone brings you a problem, retire the instant solution.
Ask:
“What do you think?”
“What have you considered?”
“What do you recommend?”
Then wait.
Yes, you may know the answer already. Please enjoy that privately for thirty seconds.
When the stakes are high, give the guardrails:
“Here is the outcome we need, the risk we cannot accept, and the decision you own.”
Then let them own it.
What not to do: Delegate the task while keeping all the judgment. Ask for a recommendation and improve it before they finish. Call it empowerment while correcting every move.
Your team does not need unlimited access to your answer.
They need greater access to their own judgment.
Ella’s Last Word: If your team needs your answer every time, you have built dependence with excellent customer service.
Explore Ellevae: If you are ready to strengthen your authority without becoming louder, harder, or less yourself, start with the Influence Path.
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